Something funny for your Friday. A UK website called So Feminine has published their Ten Commandments of “Making the first move” and I have to say they made me chuckle a little bit. Not that my educational expectations were all that high. Check out this gem:
2. DON’T show you’re confident: you don’t like men who come over as cocky, right? It works the same both ways.
I don’t know about you, but confident and cocky seem to be two very different concepts to me. Then the list gets even more hilariously confusing and contradictory…
6. Be yourself: don’t try and be something you’re not just to pull him. Be sexy, but be you.7. Watch your appearance: he has to think you’re gorgeous and classy right from the start. First impressions stick around!
8. BUT don’t go over the top: you don’t want him to think he’s not good enough for you or make him feel in any way inadequate. If you try too hard it could have the opposite effect and send him bolting for the door!
9. Once you’re in there, remain forward: men can be intimidated by a woman coming on to them and they might not know how to react. Don’t be shy about making the second or third move too!
10. BUT try and be as discreet as possible: this is the hardest bit. You have to let him think he initiated things, otherwise his male pride could take a battering…
Phew! Okay, so I’m supposed to be myself, but if myself is confident, I’m not supposed to be myself, but I should be a sexy version of myself, but not too sexy as to make him feel inadequate, or intimidating, but if I am indimidating I should keep being intimidating, but to protect his pride, not too intimidating, you know - intimidating in a non-confident, kind of sexy but not too sexy way that’s myself but not too much like myself….
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four comments
I actually think that’s pretty good advice. The baby bears porridge, happy medium of dating advice. I don’t know why the middle ground always sounds contradictory to fundamentalists, but I’m happy to see that unsolicited dating advice is what sparks outrage these days. When the problems are this trivial I guess on the whole things are getting better.
Cocky and confident are different concepts. Good point…
Posted by rd
September 16, 2007, 2:13 PM
Phst. That is terrible advice - it's just going to make girls anxious about the whole process, and nothing screws up romance like feeling anxious and insecure.
I'm going to say, without a shadow of a doubt, based on my own experiences, this:
1. It depends on the guy. GOD. This advice from So Feminine runs like all men are the same. Some guys love to just grab you and kiss you for the first time as a surprise. Some guys are more meek and shy and you might have to help them along a little bit - or just grab them and kiss them yourself.
2. For some guys, being cocky, forward and aggressive is sexy and cool. Two friends of mine, one of my favourite couples in the world, got together at a nightclub two years ago when she just looked at him, grabbed him by the collar and dragged him into the bathroom (they had been friends for many years). In my most recent encounter, I took a friend of mine by the hand at a party, pulled him into a room (after kicking out the occupants) and told him flat out how much I liked him. It was, to say the least, not off-putting.
Posted by ZOE
September 18, 2007, 7:53 AM
Hahaha! This is hilarious.
Posted by Thea
September 18, 2007, 8:55 AM
They want you to be disreetly forward, but not confident. That sounds like they mean you should act helpless around him, but in real life very few guys like that. They tell you to be classy but not over the top. This is nonsensical. If you're classy, you can't be over the top. This is the worst flirting advice I ever heard!
Posted by Sexy Sadie
November 23, 2007, 3:32 PM
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