KY’s new “couples” lubricant Yours+Mine makes some pretty sweeping assumptions about how people have sex and with whom. Two lubricants: “Mine” for her and “Yours” for him. Electric blue for boys and pink—well, okay, purple—for girls.
I’m all for fun sex products, but I’m not so into how branded hetero this product is without a vague awareness that it is. Maybe it’s because it’s the first couples lubricant I’ve ever seen, but I’m really struck by how “sex is for a boy and a girl” it seems while most other products are “personal.” (I also don’t like that the woman’s lube is “mine” because she’s the one buying it in the birth control aisle of her local Shopper’s Drug Mart. While you could argue it’s cool that they’re implying that a woman can be involved in her own pleasure, I’m inclined to think it’s connected to a “women are responsible for birth control” stereotype I’m not a fan of.)
Regardless of what you think of the product, I think it’s really important for us to recognize and critique how often heteronormativity creeps into our daily media.
Harmless on it’s own? Maybe. Part of a larger problem? Sure. Pissing me off? Yup.
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18 comments
Maybe I'm the only one thinking this, but I'm just gonna put it out there -- isn't there such a thing as too much (add'l) lube? This seems like lube overkill. Perhaps there should also be a spraycan of lube attached to the outside of the package. Just for all over.
Not that there isn't a time and places for lube, but it seems like an awful lot of wheel greasing.
I'm curious about the fine print -- "his excites. hers delights." Do these lubes actually /do/ something? Besides lube?
(I think I'm sick of the word "lube" now, though it is a great word. Oh, no I'm not. Lube lube lube.)
Posted by Catherine
June 5, 2008, 12:43 PM
I also didn't understand what these lubes do. Like, are they different from each other? What are they made out of?
But the KY Yours + Mine press kit cleared it all up:
"Brand YOURS+MINE™. Knowing it takes two to create a magical encounter, YOURS+MINE™ offers two lubricants with different sensations. One is invigorating for him, the other thrilling for her and together they add up to a totally new experience."
Oh, okay. They're made out of MAGIC!
Posted by Tiina
June 5, 2008, 12:50 PM
That just leads to more questions.
Do you have to use them for sex another person? Or are they standalone products? Is it still thrilling if I just use the lube and there's no one else around?
What happens if I use both, do I get invigorated and thrilled?
Posted by Catherine
June 5, 2008, 1:01 PM
if the whole point is for the two to be used together, then why not just make one awesome super-lube? it seems to me that the separation of the two just gives you more things to not be able to find when you need them.
and don't get me started on application, that list of questions is way longer than a list of questions about lube should ever be.
the marketing of this product just seems whack to me. not only does it exclude gay couples, but it excludes single people as well. when did certain types of lubricants become a members only club?
now that's just bad business.
Posted by Zohar
June 5, 2008, 8:05 PM
No no, the two lubes have to stay separate it's like Lord of the Rings "one ring to rule them all" if you combined the lubes than the power of mordor would be unleashed over all middle earth..
Like Tiina said, it's magic and we should not be messing around.
Posted by mir
June 5, 2008, 11:16 PM
Or maybe it's more like Ghostbusters: Don't cross the streams!
Posted by Anna
June 5, 2008, 11:20 PM
"Red light! Green light!"
But Stacey May, to your original point, I agree the extreme heterobranding is lame lame lamity lame. In large part due I think it's due to KY jumping on the specialty branding bandwagon.
Like the one ring, lube fits the wearer. There's absolutely no need to get all gender-y. But if you do, and godbless, especially if you create a specialized gender-targeted version of your product, you potentially double your sales!
"Do we have any lube?"
"Dammit! No! I mean, your invigorating blue tube is full, but my pink girly one is empty. I better go buy some more."
Okay, so you double your market of stupid people. But still.
Also -- I curse the colourful film references above, as now I want to go buy some of this junk and conduct little experiments.
"Dear KY,
I recently purchased your product and to my dismay found that I could be either invigorated or thrilled, but not both at once..."
Posted by Catherine
June 6, 2008, 1 AM
"due I think it's due"
Niiiice. Don't comment at 1am people, it's not pretty. Bedtime for sleepy bloggers.
Posted by Catherine
June 6, 2008, 1:02 AM
I think it would be way cuter if they marketed it as "one for your place, one for his" except obviously without the gendered overtones and pink/blue stuff.
Or maybe it could be like, "One for the nightstand, and one to keep at the gym..."
Because, honestly, who needs more than one kind of lube in a single sexual encounter? Even if they do have different magical properties, they're both going to end up in the same (incredibly squelchy) place.
Posted by Cate
June 6, 2008, 2:41 AM
I agree with Zohar: One standard purple super lube for everyone!
Posted by Erin
June 6, 2008, 9:03 AM
Okay I know that I am over-thinking this, but my other question is: Like seriously, "invigorating??"
Since when was that a component of sensual pleasure?
ie; "Man this lube's the best! It's like showering with Irish Spring after a football game, but for my you-know-what!"
No-one wants invigorated pink bits.
Posted by Mir
June 6, 2008, 12:54 PM
I think the marketing has more to do with female orgasms or for statistically too many, the lack thereof. I don't think the possessive adjectives are modifying the lube. Inside the magic bottles is the elixir for an orgasm for the female that can be achieved fully and quickly with only penetration every time. Reducing the need for foreplay and oral or digital manipulation will leaves the gals with more time for making and caring for babies, baking, and cleaning. This hetero-marketing is actually perpetuating the stereotype that the gays 'complete' more easily. Sure, male homosexuals likely comprise a large share of the lube market place, but I would suspect that research would show that their lube preferences would be for less chemicals and more volume. On the other hand, isn't the one lube container's content purple rather than pink? Perhaps the purple is for the 'bottoms' in the male homosexual couples, and perhaps pink has been omitted as not to offend the lesbians with more feminist leanings. If KY liked the name "Yours+Mine" and wanted one bottle to be blue (which I am guessing has the highest hit in surveys of favorite color), they would have avoided associating it with "mine" since sex is already too often male-centered for heterosexual couples. (For instance, often number of times of having sex is often equated with the man's number of orgasms.) I know *I* would have blasted them for that. Okay, I don't know what I'm talking about, and I'm making this up as a I go along, but I couldn't pass on the opportunity to leave a post with the word "lube" in it six times. If you go back to count now, I highly recommend you get a good therapist to help you with your OCD. Happy lubrication, Everyone!
Posted by Cara
June 22, 2008, 10:26 AM
I just want to know where to buy the stuff. Is it available in Canada?
Posted by Jeanne
June 24, 2008, 9:20 AM
The way the stuff works is that the girls lube leaves them with a cold sensation, and the guy has a warm sensation. I guess when the two meet, it creates a tingly sensation something like IcyHot. I can't wait to try it out.
Posted by brandon
June 30, 2008, 4:52 PM
"Sex: Designed by Men, For Babies"
Posted by Anna
June 30, 2008, 5:02 PM
I just want to do a little report back thing here:
I was sadly forced to try a novelty condom once upon a time. It was called "twisted pleasure" and I knew it was wrong from the minute I ripped the package and a lime green condom came out.
It gave both my partner and I a tingly sensation and let me tell you, sex lasted all of 2 minutes. Until I said, "I hate this condom" and my partner said "I do too let's go get a milkshake".
So there you have it: Sensations added by a marketing team make sex less fun than a milkshake.
Posted by mir
June 30, 2008, 7:56 PM
Oh no! My earlier comment now makes no sense without the heteronormative comment before it. It was hilarious. Trust me.
Posted by Anna
June 30, 2008, 8:57 PM
To be fair, milkshakes are pretty fun.
Posted by Wesley
June 30, 2008, 9:23 PM
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