• • News Flash
  • Rape Culture

  How we react to people who say rape jokes aren’t funny

  July 12, 2012 • Julia Caron

  Trigger warning: this post contains mentions of rape. Trigger warning on comments in the link at Buzzfeed.

  –––––––––-

  It all started with a post called “So a Girl Walks into a Comedy Club….” shared on Tumblr July 10th. A person who normally uses her tumblr to share baking recipes instead decided to use that platform as a way to call attention to a more serious issue. An unnamed friend of hers was at a comedy club, and wrote her account of events. Read the entire post for yourself, but this is the key part of what she described happening:

  Tosh then starts making some very generalizing, declarative statements about rape jokes always being funny, how can a rape joke not be funny, rape is hilarious, etc. I don’t know why he was so repetitive about it but I felt provoked because I, for one, DON’T find them funny and never have. So I didnt appreciate Daniel Tosh (or anyone!) telling me I should find them funny. So I yelled out, “Actually, rape jokes are never funny!”

  After I called out to him, Tosh paused for a moment. Then, he says, “Wouldn’t it be funny if that girl got raped by like, 5 guys right now? Like right now? What if a bunch of guys just raped her…” and I, completely stunned and finding it hard to process what was happening but knowing i needed to get out of there, immediately nudged my friend, who was also completely stunned, and we high-tailed it out of there. It was humiliating, of course, especially as the audience guffawed in response to Tosh, their eyes following us as we made our way out of there. I didn’t hear the rest of what he said about me.

  She then asked to speak to a manager and asked for her money back, which she did not receive. Her main point, though, was not about getting one person punished for one statement. Her point seemed to be the desire to get the message across that joking about rape to a room full of strangers can often mean reminding people of their own past violent experiences, and remind all people that we live in a world that all too often allows jokes about sexual assault to go unchallenged. And that it is not only acceptable, but funny, to mock the people who speak out.

  (more inside…)

• • Rape Culture
  • Recommended Reading

  Recommended Reading Round-up: Responses to Ian Brown’s Male Gaze article

  March 30, 2012 • Julia Horel

  Globe and Mail columnist Ian Brown recently wrote a piece in the Globe and Mail called “Why men can’t – and shouldn’t – stop staring at women.” There have been a variety of responses, and we’ve collected some of them here for you. What do you think about the piece? Are there other responses you’ve seen and liked?

  From Kasia Mychajlowycz at Archive Kasia:

  It’s part of male privilege to feel that writing a long feature about what “does it” for you, with no compelling argument, no apparent awareness of the last century of women’s struggle for equality (still ongoing, Wente, it’s STILL happening) or the academic work that sprang from it, merits space in our most august newspaper. It also shows that pandering to male privilege is what wins a paper that label, and the accompanying ad revenues, and is thus acceptable to whichever editor approved this for publication.

  From Miriam Verburg, a satirical response:

  X believes older men need attractive younger women because young women act as a talisman to ward off death, obviously.
  “That’s seems unfair to those less afraid of their mortality,” I point out.
  “And it bites men a lot harder than it bites women, because for some reason, women seem to think the way to fight death is by getting botoxed and filling themselves with poisonous self-hatred, instead of trying to make young men responsible for their triumph over the inevitable tragedy of aging. I’m conscious of it being unfair. But there’s nothing I can do about it.”

  At Jezebel:

  Men can’t help it.
  It’s right there in the headline! That’s how true it is! Whether they want to or not, men CAN’T stop staring at women. Staring is also referred to later in the article as “unavoidable.” That’s just how male sexuality works! Do you really want men to stop doing something that they can’t stop doing? What’s next—women should stop being really really good at laundry?

  From Lizz Bryce:

  It’s the entitlement that pisses me off. “Her body held my interest, but so did her decision to wear a miniskirt on a bike.” What does this mean? Did she wear a miniskirt on a bike because she wanted to be looked at? Did she wear a miniskirt for your pleasure? Did she think, when getting dressed in the morning, that she should dress her body for the express purpose of attracting attention? I have no idea. But the presumption that she did bothers me. Because the follow up to that is that when I get dressed in the morning, I have to think about the attention my clothes are asking for, and I’m not ok with that.

• • Anti-violence
  • Rape Culture

  Link round-up: Day of remembrance and action

  December 6, 2011 • Julia Horel

  [Trigger warning for discussion of violence.]

  As many Shameless readers will be aware, today is the 22nd anniversary of the Montreal massacre, an event in which a man shot 28 people and killed 14 women, claiming to be “fighting feminism.” Much to the chagrin of many, the man’s name is known and published and remembered frequently in media coverage of commemorative events, but the names of the murdered women are often missing.

  Today, we remember:

  Geneviève Bergeron (born 1968), civil engineering student
  Hélène Colgan (born 1966), mechanical engineering student
  Nathalie Croteau (born 1966), mechanical engineering student
  Barbara Daigneault (born 1967), mechanical engineering student
  Anne-Marie Edward (born 1968), chemical engineering student
  Maud Haviernick (born 1960), materials engineering student
  Maryse Laganière (born 1964), budget clerk in the École Polytechnique’s finance department
  Maryse Leclair (born 1966), materials engineering student
  Anne-Marie Lemay (born 1967), mechanical engineering student
  Sonia Pelletier (born 1961), mechanical engineering student
  Michèle Richard (born 1968), materials engineering student
  Annie St-Arneault (born 1966), mechanical engineering student
  Annie Turcotte (born 1969), materials engineering student
  Barbara Klucznik-Widajewicz (born 1958), nursing student

  Also on this day, we continue the fight for an end to gender-based violence, and pay particular attention to the intersecting of oppressions that can enable violence. Read our guest blogger’s piece from earlier today for one perspective.

  Here are some links for your perusal:

  The next generation - and what women sometimes forget - on December 6th

  Montreal massacre survivor slams plan to scrap long-gun registry

  REMEMBERING THE WOMEN FORGOTTEN ON DECEMBER 6TH: SPOKEN WORD BY ANISHINAABE POET LENA RECOLLET + AN INCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH BENGALI POET SHAUNGA TAGORE

  National Film Board event in Toronto tonight

  Abuse in Lesbian Relationships: Information and Resources

  Please feel free to share more links in comments.

• • Indigenous
  • Rape Culture

  National day of remembrance and action of violence against women in Canada

  December 6, 2011 • Guest Blogger

  Today is for you, you lucky people who have not experienced violence.

  Today is the day for you, who do not know what it is like to be harmed for being a woman, to remember the victims of l’Ecole polytechnique, 14 beautiful young women who were gunned down for being women, accused of being feminists. As if that was a trait worth being murdered for.

  Today is a reminder for you, that every day women are raped, beaten and murdered. This happens in Canada; this happens around the globe. 1 in 6? 3 in 4? I have to admit that the specific numbers are less relevant to me. They are simply too high.

  Today is for you because I, like all women who have experienced violence, don’t need a day of remembrance. I remember every single day. I remember the violence, rape and abuse that has been inflicted on me by my husband, family, friends and strangers just because I am a woman. Well, I feel pretty confident that my being a poor, fat, First Nations woman from a hard background has something to do with it too. Indigenous women in North America are almost 3x more likely to experience sexual violence. This I know, this I have experienced. And those intersections matter, but for me, right now, I believe I experienced these forms of violence just because I am a woman.

  I also know that binary systems of gender harm all of us, whether we’ve experienced violence or not, whether we identify as man, woman, or somewhere on the range of gender. Those are important conversations. But today, just for once, asking “what about the men” is a derail. We know about the impact of gendered violence, and we know enough about power and privilege to know it hurts everyone, but it hurts those who have violence inflicted on them more particularly: women, trans people, and people with non-binary genders.

  (more inside…)

• • In My Opinion...
  • Politics
  • Race and Racism
  • Rape Culture

  Quick rant: music radio shows

  November 29, 2011 • Julia Horel

  I don’t want to get all “when I was younger, people had more respect!” because it’s completely untrue. But I do feel that maybe there were more regulations about what radio presenters could say on the air ten or fifteen years ago (and I listened to the radio constantly when I was in junior high/high school).

  This morning, I flipping on Toronto’s Virgin Radio while I was getting dressed, and discovered their morning show hosts were discussing the differences between a “skank” and a “ho.” A caller was giving her opinion. I kind of gaped at my radio and then shut if off. I’m pretty sure no one was going to call in and explain that the major difference between those epithets is a racially loaded one (“ho” being a term often levelled at black women).

  Ottawa’s Hot 89.9 station had a promotion/contest last summer during which it “lost its T” and called itself “the new Ho 89.9” while giving clues to find the “missing T.” The same station also had a “Win a Baby” contest, where people who were infertile or otherwise unable to conceive could compete in a vote-in contest to win fertility treatments. I actually wrote to complain about that one, telling the station I found it insensitive (the commercials were pretty gross), and was told that it was “the best thing [they’d] ever done.”

  Finally, Edmonton station The Bear recently held a Win a Wife contest. Yep, for real. The prize was a trip to Russia and an introduction to a woman from an agency that pairs Russian women with North American men for potential marriage.

  The clearly exploitative “wife” contest got a lot of backlash, but I’m not sure what kinds of responses morning show presenters get when they include truly offensive stuff in their chatter. I have written to complain a few times, and I’m sure others do, too, but stuff like this morning’s “discussion” is still happening. Thoughts?

• • Activist Report
  • Rape Culture

  Slut Walk: The London, Ontario Edition

  April 13, 2011 • Meg Pirie

  This Sunday, around 300 women from across the city came together in Victoria Park to participate in London’s Slut Walk, inspired by recent events in Toronto. The event was co-organized by Amazon Collective, a local pro-woman action group, and VDay Western, a global movement to end violence against women and girls, that has brought the university and London communities The Vagina Monologues for nine years, along with a slew of other campaigns and events that benefit local organizations committed to non-violence.

  This experience was, in a word, inspiring.

  While walking my incredible dog Layla through the park while participants began to congregate, I saw people of various ages united to challenge the culture of victim blaming that exists on a societal level. It was amazing, especially in a city that is … er … how should I say this? Oh right … conservative as hell. Buoyed by my observations, I rushed home with my pup to record some of my thoughts concerning this event.

  Well, first thing’s first: context. London, Ontario is my home and I love it; there are some incredible things happening here and there is loads of potential in spite of some inept local politicians. That said, London is a “student town,” a title that really grinds my gears. There is a mantra of permissive chauvinism at work here that allows students at The University of Western Ontario and Fanshawe College to run rampant in a culture of consumption, binge drinking, and hate speech that manifests itself in myriad forms, one of which is victim blaming.

  (more inside…)

• • Rape Culture

  Things that cause rape

  March 29, 2011 • Emma Woolley

  Today in signs I’d like to see more of, this gem from Buzzfeed:

  (more inside…)

• • Activist Report
  • Media Savvy
  • Rape Culture

  This Sunday: Wear your slut pride at SlutWalk

  March 29, 2011 • Emma Woolley

  Over the past few months, we’ve seen a victim-blaming renaissance in the pages and websites of many North American media outlets. From the New York Times blaming an 11-year-old girl for her gang rape to a Manitoba judge not jailing a rapist because the victim “wanted to party;” to punishing a school clerical worker for being in a porn film and disrespecting a young woman’s death by focusing on her being an escort—there is no shortage of evidence that we’ve a long way to go in battling slut-shaming and victim-blaming.

  So I was excited to learn about SlutWalk Toronto, an event planned for this Sunday to put pressure on Toronto Police Services and to challenge dangerous stereotypes. I contacted Sonya Barnett, co-founder of SlutWalk, to learn a little more about it.

  (more inside…)

• • Guest Blogs
  • Rape Culture

  Guest Blog: No Shame, All Consent

  March 11, 2011 • Julia Horel

  Today’s guest blog comes to us from Ben Privot of the Consensual Project.

  The Consensual Project partners with schools and universities to bring students a fresh understanding of consent. The innovative curriculum, workshops, and website empower young people to incorporate consent into their daily lives. The Consensual Project is committed to helping students connect through consent.

  Hi Shameless readers!
  
  It’s an honor to get to share with you today.
  
  Please let me be clear: I LOVE Shameless magazine’s shameless mantra. At the end of the day, I think shame can hold us back from exploring the lessons feminism has for us. For example, lessons around sexuality. More precisely, lessons of consent. Adages like “no means no” or “yes means yes” have been an extremely valuable start, but we need to explore more of consent, without shame, because the current status of our sexual climate still needs some serious repair. As you may be well aware, rape culture is extremely prevalent and it is willing to use misogyny, cissexism, heterosexism, and all other forms of oppression to inflict sexual violence on everyone’s bodies, particularly non-hetero cisgendered men’s bodies. Keeping rape culture alive and intact are a bunch of myths; they’re harmful and ridiculous. I know that a lot my amazing feminist friends understand rape culture but still are afflicted by one of its greatest impacts: withholding what the language of consent looks like.

  While in college I explored consent, I mean really explored it: I talked about it with my hookups, partners, friends, and even professors. The more I learned about consent the more I found my relationships becoming more accountable, safer, and trusting. But they were also becoming a whole lot more intimate (I’ll spare you the details!). This speaks to the true nature of consent; it resolves to bring us both safety and pleasure! So I’d like to tear down some of the myths rape culture builds while simultaneously exploring consent. By doing so, I think we’ll be that much more able to have one uh-mazing good time, safely and mutually.

  (more inside…)

• • Rape Culture
  • Recommended Reading

  Recommended Reading: Raped in the U.S.A.

  March 11, 2011 • Emma Woolley

  I came across an excellent post by Amy Andronicus on the Texas gang-rape case that I think is a must-read in addition to the post on Shakesville. An excerpt:

  In what constitues a FOX-worthy example of editorializing “the news,” the journalist in question, James McKinley, chooses quotations only from those residents of the town who saw the victim as responsible for her own rape. The piece therefore emerges as an appallingly biased depiction of a rape that an 11-year-old girl brought upon herself. McKinely takes pains to explain the way in which the 11-year-old victim “dressed older than her age, wearing makeup and fashions more appropriate to a woman in her 20s” and “would hang out with teenage boys,” as if clothing, makeup, and befriending teenagers were acts that might lead those teenagers to commit rape. Furthermore, McKinley’s article describes the men, (some of whom were as old as 27,) as having been “drawn into” the crime, rather than having “committed it.” In this textbook example of the use of the passive voice to transfer agency from subject to object, the sentence shifts the blame from the perpetrator of the crime to the victim. McKinley’s reportage goes as far as to blame the mother of the victim for not keeping her daughter out of trouble—as if it were a mother’s responsibility to prevent all possible criminal activity singlehandedly, after doing the dishes and before bed. Nowhere in the article does McKinley consider the perspective of the other side—the necessary perspective here, the logical one, the one that might, for example lead to the question: “Where were the parents of the young men who committed this rape? Why didn’t they teach their children to respect women?”

  Read the full post here. And as Sheila pointed out in a comment, you can sign a petition demanding that the NYT apologize for victim-blaming here.

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