In the Blog
Can we not talk about healthy relationships now?
I wanted to share this with the Shameless world since I’m a little baffled by the occurence.
Recently I wrote a piece for a place that shall remain nameless. In it I recounted my recent trip to the United States and all the great Native youth engagement work, which happened to include the cultural and spiritual journey my partner and I have decided to embark on.
The comment I received back went something like this “You need to refocus your writing since you seem to dwell too much on your boyfriend and that’s nobody’s business”.
Not once did I even say anything REMOTELY romantic. Not once did I refer to my own feelings about him. I didn’t even say his name. I like to keep it real so if he happened to be there while community work was going on and positively contribute to it, I’m going to say it. Just like I referenced what everybody else did.
This is the first time I’ve ever received feedback of this nature, and anyone who knows me knows that I’m a pretty staunch independant feminist, who is always about business. I’ve actually been chastised for being “too political” when I talk (as a recent interviewer told me) and never share anything personal. So lately I’ve been making a concerted effort to share a little more.
What bothers me the most though is that it seems in pop culture, we only hear about romantic or intimate relationships when they are either grossly lovey-dovey, or when they are bad. We rarely hear about solid partnerships where people are okay just living life together, or actively being part of stuff that is actually important to the other person. In my case, my partner happens to be part of my culture and also part of the shift of youth in our community that are making their way back to it. I’m part of that too! And it’s a beautiful and necessary thing.
I thought I could be political, a feminist, and have a healthy relationship all at the same time. And you know what’s funny? We continuously hear from youth across the board of sexual health education that the one thing they never learn about is healthy relationships, and it’s something they’d really like to talk about.
I wonder why that is?