In the Blog

40 Blogs and a Mule

May 4th, 2015     by deb singh     Comments

Illustration by Erin McPhee

Hello dedicated readers! This is my 40th blog entry with Shameless Magazine. Attention must be paid!

First, I would like to thank every reader who has ever spent their valuable time reading my entries. I truly appreciate you and thank you for caring what I think about stuff.

Second, a major appreciation to Sheila, Julia, Meg and Naz for working with me over the past 40 blogs. I am so grateful for your confidence and for allowing me to write for over 3 years. Thanks for your edits, critiques, support and camaraderie.

Finally, Imma thank myself for sticking with it, always figuring out a way to keep writing and trying so hard to appeal to the brilliant masses that frequent the Shameless blogosphere.

So in the vain of honouring my 40th blog, I thought I would create a compilation of quotes from my own blogs. I’m quoting myself people so I hope you find it amusing and educational. Enjoy a few throwbacks from me!

“I’m a Canadian-born Indo-Caribbean. I’m Brown. I have Canadian citizenship status. I’m a queer woman of colour. I’m a woman-identified, non-trans person. I’m non-disAbled, with parents who have mental health and addiction issues. I’m working class. I am a survivor of rape, sexual assault and domestic violence, and I work at a rape crisis centre. I was born and raised in Toronto, Ontario. I’m urban. I have an undergraduate degree at a University. I grew up with a single mom. I’m not fat and I’m not thin. I’m 33 years old.

And I’m a settler on Turtle Island.” From Settler on Turtle Island, blog #1

“The power of a gun has been a replacement for the lack of power people feel when they are impoverished and disenfranchised. I am not saying (gun) violence is okay. But when you take a racialized community, give them no jobs or the worst jobs in a rich flourishing city, when you close their schools and de-fund their community centres, you get increased violence, sadness, community loss and grief and surely, oppression.” From To the People of the Danzig Community, With Love, Blog #4

Photo by Gelay Amdo

From visual essay, Take Back the Night 2013, Parkdale , blog #6

“Gossip can definitely feel alright, sanctioned and acceptable in the moment. It can feel like you are getting closer to someone by sharing ‘a secret’ just you and now this person, know. But it has always had its destructive and hurtful effects. And further, it can be the beginnings of bullying and violence that we say we are so against as feminists.” From Gossip Girl, blog #7

“My acupuncturist had been so nice to me…. so I let her poke me. I felt like I owed her. She was an acupuncturist after all. And massage was not her specialty. And she was so nice. She made sure all the conditions in where I received my treatment were on my terms and always asked for consent about everything. And she was so nice. So I did it. She didn’t pressure me at all but out of my own guilt in my healing, I did it. And breaking the seal on acupuncture is one of the best decisions for my health I have ever made.” From Six Degrees of Inoculation, blog #13

“I am usually the first one to be excited about a pregnancy and the first one to buy something for you for the baby shower. And yet I have never been more jealous of folks who have got pregnant. But I have to say, this is not everyone, I am not annoyed with folks who had major struggles around infertility or had been trying for long bouts. Just heteros who accidentally got pregnant or people who get pregnant on the first try (or people who tell me story after story about people who got pregnant on the first try). This is not me so please, I’m sensitive about my uterus!” From Queer Brown Girl Trying to Get Pregnant, Part 3: Let’s Get Emo(tional) about Trying to Get Pregnant, blog #16

“Sharon is panting like a dog on a heat alert day. In a breathy panicked groan, Sharon says “OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! I HAVE A CRAMP!” I think, duh, of course you do! But I actually I say back “ What kind of cramp do you think you have?” “I DON’T KNOW, I DON’T KNOW” Sharon replies in pain. In a Forrest Gump like voice I reply “Do you think it is a charlie horse cramp? A menstrual cramp? A I-gotta-poo cramp?…” “I think I need to take a shit! I gotta take a shit!” Before I can look to the approaching paramedics wandering around the race to make sure runners are ok, Sharon darts behind a Fraser fir, squats down and does her business right then and there.” From Sports, blog #17

“But let’s be real. Dating multiple people is like a delicate and precious juggling act and we know it’s never as easy as it looks. I didn’t just date people and hope they managed all their feelings on their own. In choosing to care about more than one person at a time, I had to be responsible for how my actions impacted them, how they felt and what I could do to support them. Dating multiple people always brings up jealousy. Veronica and Betty get jealous of each other on a regular! But the flare in doing multiple dating well, is caring for the person, hearing them out and being very honest with yourself about what you can really manage.” From Multiple Dating and Me, blog #21

“Sharing our Scary Places: Finally, I have found there are lots of unspoken moments about body changes during pregnancy and I suspect one of the reasons people aren’t talking about them is because they are scary, gross, seem too personal or they are not going to be celebrated because they are around the mystery of pregnancy, women’s or trans bodies. My antidote to this is SHARE! It may be gross, hell, its pregnancy or it may be TMI (too much information) but if we don’t demystify it, whatever the body issue/change, it has power over us and further, we often can end up feeling alone with it.” From A Short Guide to Supporting Each Other with Body Changes and Procuring More Self-Love around Our Bodies, blog #27

“Femme is political, kind, activist, responsive, loving, sexy, tumultuous, steamy, fun, playful and whole. It is not without, it is always enough; it is not in conjunction with another. It is in itself. Femme. Beauty, wisdom, love, sex; ripped stockings, chipped nail polish, well kept manicure, housewife pearl necklace, manic panic hair dye. Femme is our gorgeousness personified. It is the side of our selves that feels like a pussy, wuss or wimp but turned inside out, flipped on its head and enjoyed because femmes are strong. Femme can be our feminine side. Femme is what makes the world go round (in my humble opinion). “ From Honoured Femme, blog #30

“Motherhood has been historically devalued within mainstream societies and feminist communities alike. According to sexism, if you don’t become a mother, you are less of a woman, selfish or career driven and if you do become a mother, that’s all you are and can be and it is not a job as important as being a doctor or lawyer or even an activist.” From Queer Brown Girl Trying to be a Parent: Motherhood As Work, blog #36

“And How can I use Anti-Oppression in my life? How anti-oppression frameworks/ways of thinking play out is really up to the thinker (i.e. you!) I think if we really consider people’s experience in the world, instead of judging them for their situation, we can create a more understanding and loving world. We all want others to see us for who we really are, we all want to be accepted – anti-oppressive actions can be a way to do that for ourselves and others, and therefore can support in creating a more harmonious world.” From The 5 ‘W’s and the ‘H’ of the Anti-Oppression Framework, blog #10

Again, Shameless readers, you are truly the best audience around as I know you are in the daily fight to end oppression, spread the word of justice and equality, and routinely act in ways of kindness and love. Thanks for the inspiration.

And thanks for reading.

deb singh

Tags: queer

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