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I didn’t even know I was supposed to be ashamed of my pits.

May 30th, 2007     by Stacey May Fowles     Comments

Are you “sleeveless ready?”

If you have no idea what the heck that means, Dove defines it for you as “Naturally comfortable with the look and feel of your underarms” or “Possessing the confidence to wear underarm-baring fashion.” On the sleeveless-ready web site you can even take a quiz to find out how armipit insecure you are and then, of course, find out about a product that can rid you of your pit-shame and sleeveless-unreadiness.

My favorite part of the quiz? They ask you if you shave your underarms, and if you respond with a preference to go “au naturel” the quiz replies: “Your choice is as individual as you are. We invite you to try a free* sample of Dove Ultimate Clear. In just five days, you’ll have softer, smoother underarms… naturally.” Yah, um.. thanks for letting me know.

What exactly does an unready pit look like, anyway? I have no idea, but Dove offers a “five day challenge” where I can learn just how awful my current pit state is.

Thank goodness they are constantly coming up with brand new things for me to hate about myself, because what would I spend my money on if I actually liked myself? Once I get over my armpits hopefully Dove will help me develop hatred of my big toes, my bellybutton, my earlobes…

Tags: body politics, media savvy

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