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The Mercy Of Their Cycles

September 18th, 2008     by Mir Verburg     Comments

About a month ago, I stopped taking the pill after about 2 years. September hit me like a ton of bricks and I just had so much on the go that I forgot to go and pick up my renewal. When it got to the point that would have to skip a month anyways, I decided to take a hormone vacation and see what happened.

Well, let me tell anyone who has been taking the pill long enough to have no clear memory of pre-pill time. It is groovalicious to go off the pill.

Things that have changed:

  • generalized feelings of good cheer have returned
  • more physically energetic by about 15%
  • MY VAJAYJAY WORKS AGAIN

I cannot stress the importance of that last one enough wink and here’s some totally unrequested TMI sex advice. To all the ladies out there who are sexually active but have troubled relationships with their vjs, go off the pill and give the old non-latex condom a whirl.

So, far the only issue is that due to my disorganization WRT the passage of time, (ie; Oh no! Has that library book really been overdue a week? I thought it was still Tuesday !) I am totally unsure when my next period is going to be. When I was on the pill they were like my personal menses assistant, now that I have given Jasmin the boot, I just could not tell you word one about my cycle.

Today’s PMS threat index according to PMS buddy. PMS Buddy

I know there are simple things I could do to track my period, but this morning I stumbled upon a hilarious thread about this annoying site called PMSBuddy. Take a second to visit the site, and be fascinated/appalled by a site geared towards men suggesting that “During PMS women can feel bloated and unattractive. Show her how you really feel with some sexy lingerie.” Not only that but you can use the national PMS threat index (Pictured here) that’s right, PMS = Terror for men, now we know. I found the site via this hilarious thread on Metafilter, be prepared to laugh you head off at some very funny remarks (contains some swearing NSFW).

Nota bene: There is also the site Monthly.info a less offensive, more useful version. But then again, not so funny.

What do you think - are the interwebs useful for tracking your cycle? Do you use the moon, do you use your sister’s ice cream-eating schedule? Or are you like me, living in total ignorance of what’s coming down the pipes (literally)?

My favorite comments about PMSBuddy via Metafilter:

Not so into this website though, which is pretty condescending. I think I’ll just set up a recurring appointment in my outlook calendar at work. To disguise it somewhat from coworkers I’ll just call it “CRIMSON TIDE LOLOLOLZ!!!1!!11!”.

Second favorite:

Dwight from The Office said he wishes he had a period because it would help him feel closer to the stages of the moon, and he would never need a calendar again. I think men are just jealous.

Final work from comments:

Yeh, great idea, except that when people are on cycles other than 28 days, you need to set up a fiendishly complex astrolabe that somehow synchronises Gregorian, Julian, Hebrew, Islamic, Mayan and Vedic calendars, then correct using a crucible of mercury & sulphur, add an eye of newt or two, and every now & then you’ll still find that your calculations are wrong & Saturnalia is upon you. 1. I hear Saturnalia was a good time, so I am all for this. The Mercy Of Their Cycles Could this be the world’s first all-female post-rock band? 2. No, but it could be a metal or goth band. Or a cycling club.

Tags: body politics

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